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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| 跑不動了 今天發現,原來自己已經跑不動了。
這一場賽跑上,縱使沒有失去賽跑資格, 這樣的運動員,也不應留在跑道上礙事。
對,我可以走慢一點。 但只看到越走越遠的背影, 比起自己一個人跑, 更覺孤單。
坐在一旁計時、拍照,是一個腐了的人仍能做的。 很久沒有感到的滿足, 回到一些只有幕後人才懂的喜樂。
我還是參與在這場賽跑上,樂於這個崗位。
縱使這樣,心還是有不甘。 不斷想站起來,重出跑道.. 以為已經麻木了的感覺, 卻一次比一次跌得痛。
在黑夜裡徘徊, 在文字中摸索, 那一點點的光, 定會比現的好。
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| Nine months
Nine months have past I honestly thought it would not last I now realize there is no deadline And it's not something that I can decline.
Through the dark I walk A lonely path that no one can talk Each dying moment pushes me to the brink .. that most people can't even begin to think.
The path always leads back to a place where courage I lack to face the giant to take the little hands and finish the long forgotten dance.
The plunge The light The train The poem The song Really I cannot ask for more. Let me know You are with me Let that be enough. (11.06.2011) | | |
| Learning to read again
04:06, 3 songs, 1 box of kleenex, and 1 book. Just as I thought I was losing another race, You came and put several angels in place. The churning stomache The marathon with no end Was welcomed with the relief of words. 161 pages and still going.. Although still difficult to comprehend.. I am comfortable with the new confusions. A few hours later I will be back on the track The churning stomache The marathon with no end.. But I will remember these few precious hours that no one will understand.
At least my heart is a bit more opened.. and I'm reading again.. I'm writing again.. I'm feeling. I'm breathing.
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| Three questions
A wise woman once told me, 'If there's anything you need to remember in life, is to ask.' Ask, and seek for all possible answers.
As the years past, Not many questions have last. However there are three, that remained deep within me.
One is too inappropriate to ask, Another is missing the bridge of trust, The third is held prison, that I will never unmask.
I hope I will find answers when I pass, Where there is no shame, doubt or lies. And yet.. I also believe, when everything withers away, so will the curiosity that feeds on the mind's cache.
[written after my sudden urge to ask]
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| My grave that I dug, for you
Today we gather as a day to remember, the joy and pain, the blood and stain, from you.
Say your final words. Deep below, a voice calls out 'Look at me, I'm a real person and I need you'.. yet you dropped them with the skew.
The final blow was covered in mud and soil. The painful awareness of loneliness makes you look beyond the boundaries of our own existence.
The tears and stones were last to say goodbyes. Fare thee well, as it closed, your peace will cover my wounds. This is my eulogy to you.
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