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Name: Eppie
Location: Australia
Birthday: 2/4/1985
Gender: Female


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Member Since: 3/19/2004

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Thursday, July 07, 2011

跑不動了

今天發現,原來自己已經跑不動了。

這一場賽跑上,縱使沒有失去賽跑資格,
這樣的運動員,也不應留在跑道上礙事。

對,我可以走慢一點。
但只看到越走越遠的背影,
比起自己一個人跑,
更覺孤單。

坐在一旁計時、拍照,是一個腐了的人仍能做的。
很久沒有感到的滿足,
回到一些只有幕後人才懂的喜樂。

我還是參與在這場賽跑上,樂於這個崗位。

縱使這樣,心還是有不甘。
不斷想站起來,重出跑道..
以為已經麻木了的感覺,
卻一次比一次跌得痛。

在黑夜裡徘徊,
在文字中摸索,
那一點點的光,
定會比現的好。


Saturday, June 18, 2011

Nine months

Nine months have past
I honestly thought it would not last
I now realize there is no deadline
And it's not something that I can decline.

Through the dark I walk
A lonely path that no one can talk
Each dying moment
pushes me to the brink
.. that most people can't even begin to think.

The path always leads back
to a place where courage I lack
to face the giant
to take the little hands
and finish the long forgotten dance.

The plunge The light The train
The poem The song
Really I cannot ask for more.
Let me know You are with me
Let that be enough.

 (11.06.2011)

 


Sunday, January 30, 2011

Learning to read again

04:06, 3 songs, 1 box of kleenex, and 1 book.
Just as I thought I was losing another race,
You came and put several angels in place.
The churning stomache
The marathon with no end
Was welcomed with the relief of words.
161 pages and still going.. 

Although still difficult to comprehend..
I am comfortable with the new confusions.

 
A few hours later
I will be back on the track

The churning stomache
The marathon with no end..
But I will remember these few precious hours
 
that no one will understand.


At least my heart is a bit more opened..
and I'm reading again..
I'm writing again..
I'm feeling.

I'm breathing.



Monday, July 26, 2010

Three questions

A wise woman once told me,
'If there's anything you need to remember in life,
is to ask.'
Ask, and seek for all possible answers.

As the years past,
Not many questions have last.
However there are three,
that remained deep within me.

One is too inappropriate to ask,
Another is missing the bridge of trust,
The third is held prison, that I will never unmask.

I hope I will find answers when I pass,
Where there is no shame, doubt or lies.
And yet.. I also believe,
when everything withers away,
so will the curiosity that feeds on the mind's cache.

[written after my sudden urge to ask]



Friday, June 11, 2010

My grave that I dug, for you

Today we gather
as a day to remember,
the joy and pain,
the blood and stain,
from you.

Say your final words.
Deep below, a voice calls out
'Look at me, I'm a real person
and I need you'..
yet you dropped them with the skew.

The final blow
was covered in mud and soil.
The painful awareness of loneliness
makes you look  beyond the boundaries
of our own existence.

The tears and stones were last
to say goodbyes.
Fare thee well, as it closed,
your peace will cover my wounds.
This is my eulogy to you.




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